Beating Heart
by Crystallized Tears
Summary: Follows Fragile Heart - She really wished things had worked out now. She really wished that her heart would beat once more. But it was too late ... *currently being rewritten and updated* M for language possible sexual content
1. Prologue

**I promised. I promised I'd rewrite this, and I am getting through it. I've copied the rest of my original story so I can reference it, but removed it since it was crappy writing. But, here's the rewrite of the prologue :) Enjoy, Tears x**

**Title: Beating Heart  
Rating: M (later chapters, may change as they are rewritten)  
Summary: She really wished things had worked out now. She really wished that her heart would beat once more. But it was too late ...  
Full Summary: Having finally found closure on their illicit relationship, Sakura's heart is broken. At least, it's broken until things begin to turn on their head. Suddenly their relationship is not so forbidden, but it's too late ...**

**::-::-::-::-::**

Of all things that could get under the skin of the best policewoman in Tomoeda, Japan, it was car accidents that could so easily have been avoided. Especially ones that took so many lives. Anything else, Omaniwa Lira could deal with, as long as there was the reward of all rewards at the end: the culprit getting the justice they rightfully deserved.

But here … no justice was enough for this car crash. She watched, appalled, as the final victim was removed from her car, barely conscious and covered in her own blood. Tiny shards of glass remained embedded in her face and arms, and a large chunk of metal – slightly larger than a knife blade – was embedded by her knee. Cuts split the delicate fabric of her dress, exposing skin that had once been pale but was now coloured red with her blood.

Yakashi Mamoru, her latest protégé, appeared at her side, an equal look of distaste on his features. 'We have nine fatalities,' he said before she could answer. 'Four women and five men, from eighteen to sixty-two. Two people are wounded, one in critical condition with some nasty injuries. They're not sure if she'll make it. The second received minor wounds on his head and arms. He's over with the medics now. He was the one driving the car that caused the accident.'

Omaniwa nodded, watching as the women she'd watched be removed was gently placed on a stretcher. Her hands, as bruised and sore as they were – from where Omaniwa stood, she could swear at least two fingers were broken – curved protectively around her stomach.

_Pregnant. Shit._ Nothing like a car crash to start a pregnancy off. She frowned, and watched as the medics fussed over her, pressing bandages into her leg and the worst wounds on her torso. Her view was disrupted by Yakashi again, who sighed. 'Before you ask, no, the press haven't gotten a hold of any details. We have ten officers keeping them back.'

She nodded, glanced over her shoulder to where the mass were congregating. 'Keep them back until this is cleared up. Once we've got details and have spoken to the families, we'll release information.'

Yakashi nodded and scribbled something down in his notepad. 'Fancy interviewing the lad who caused it?'

'Do I ever?' She sighed, rolled her eyes. 'Let's get it over with.'

The pair moved together, passing by the stretcher of the only other survivor. Her eyelids flickered, allowing a brief flash of emerald green, and then she passed out. Omaniwa sucked in her breath in surprise; she knew this girl! Why, she was barely twenty five! She had an entire life to live!

_And I picked today of all days to pull the biggest case in three years._


	2. Chapter One

**Feel free to shoot me.**

**This has been far too long in coming. It's been what, a year and a half since I posted the rewrite of the prologue? I think it's been nearly two years since I started planning the rewrite ...**

**Can you believe it's been over four years since I first posted _Fragile Heart_? Feels like just yesterday I was trying to figure out the best way to tell a story without letting the characters tell it. It's amazing how time passes.**

**Anyway, more after the story, so enjoy Chapter 1 of the rewrite of _Beating Heart_!**

**Title: Beating Heart**

**Rating: M (later chapters, may change as they are rewritten)  
Summary: She really wished things had worked out now. She really wished that her heart would beat once more. But it was too late ...  
Full Summary: Having finally found closure on their illicit relationship, Sakura's heart is broken. At least, it's broken until things begin to turn on their head. Suddenly their relationship is not so forbidden, but it's too late ...**

**::-::-::-::-::**

Two weeks.

Two long, miserable weeks.

Kinomoto Fujitaka had yet to hear his darling daughter's voice since she had regained consciousness in the hospital following a crash that could so easily have killed her. Though she was awake, and alert, she kept her silence, showed little emotion. The only time she had broken that was in waking, when, her eyes still fuzzy from unconsciousness, she had called out a whimpering 'Syaoran?' and then faded again.

Her best friend had yet to show, but that wasn't surprising, considering he was due to be on his honeymoon halfway across the world right now. The accident had only been reported two days after it had occurred, and the Kinomoto family had requested that Sakura's name not be mentioned on the news: they themselves would tell people who needed to know.

His daughter watched the outside world, the sun climbing higher in the sky and the birds skipping joyfully past the window. Her left hand, fingers encased in their cast, touched her stomach gently, while her right reached for Fujitaka's. It had come as a shock to him, to learn his baby girl had become pregnant; the last he'd heard, she was single and had been since she was fifteen. Even her best friends had had no clue as to who the father of her unborn child could be, and that was saying something, considering how close they had been for most of their lives.

Her hand twitched in his, and his eyes shot up to her face, lips pursed in pain. For a second, she held herself there, immobile, and then her right leg twitched and she exhaled loudly. It was her right leg that had been injured in the car crash, the right leg the console had tried to jam itself into as it buckled and twisted under the pressure of the other cars in front of her. Two weeks and five operations later, the doctors had declared her leg free from any remaining metal pieces that had twisted, damaging the muscle and the blood vessels. They'd been repaired, he'd been informed, but the resulting weakness would take time to work out – it might take as long as two years before she was able to walk properly again, if she ever was.

Her eyes, the same jade green as her mother's, turned to him as she relaxed ever so slightly. He could tell waves of pain still flooded through her body, but she made no sound, no complaint even as the on-duty nurse who had watched from her position came over and adjusted the pain medication.

He smiled at her, watched the lines of tension ease from her face as she slowly drifted into a quiet sleep.

Some hours later, just as the sun began to dip behind the horizon, she awoke. The TV set in the corner flashed out light, irritating her closed eyes, and she turned her head towards it. Sounds, words, floated to her, but it took a moment for her tired brain to function and to give them meaning. Finally, she understood.

'_Teenager Anasawa Kai will tomorrow go to court on nine counts of manslaughter and one account of grievous bodily harm in a tragic car crash two weeks ago. The crash, which occurred in Tomoeda, left a family of four, two old-age pensioners, a newly wedded couple and Anasawa's own brother dead, and two survivors. The second, left unnamed due to her family's request, is currently recovering in hospital. More information will be available at a later date._'

The crash. Her eyes flashed open, caught the screen with the picture of the teen. Young, eighteen or nineteen, with a mop of dyed-blonde hair on top of an angelic face. She struggled to see whether he had any injuries, anything at all as a reminder of the crash. The screen turned black, and then her brother moved into her gaze.

He smiled down at her, as if to comfort her in her distress. 'Hey there, you. You had Dad worried again earlier.' His hand sought hers, warm and large and comfortable. She looked up, eyes wide and panicked, and he gently squeezed her bruised fingers. 'It's okay. I promise you, he will go away for life for what he did to you.'

She believed him. Kinomoto Toya had a way of making things that felt so terrible happen without so much as a blink. If he said Anasawa would get life … Anasawa would get life.

Kaho, the wife of Toya and mother of his child, moved to join the siblings, her auburn hair reflecting the dull sunlight and turning a vivid orange. She, much like her husband before her, smiled down at Sakura, one hand resting lightly on the leg that was almost uninjured.

'You need something to drink, honey?'

A drink. A drink was a good idea. She nodded, and Toya turned away, releasing her hand from his hunt for the glass and jug of water. Carefully, Sakura attempted to move her body, trying to force it to sit up – _attempted_ being the key word. Her arms, seriously bruised, protested, and her wrist, sprained, cried out in agony. Her ribs, two of them cracked and one broken, screamed their protests, and a gasp escaped her mouth, no matter how much she tried to prevent it from doing so.

'Hey, hey, don't try to move too much yet, sweetheart!' Kaho pushed her down, hands gingerly on sore shoulders. 'You've got too many injuries to think about moving like that right now.'

Too many injuries … She bit her lip, remembering the doctors who had spoken to her when she had woken from the anaesthetic. _You were lucky. Another few inches, and you might have lost your leg. Any longer before we operated, you might have bled out, and if you'd hit the steering wheel with more force you might have punctured a vital organ in your chest. We don't get many miracle cases like yours._

Miracle case. Ha. She would have laughed, if it was a laughing matter. It didn't feel much like a miracle, her survival. She had to live with the knowledge that she and the monster who had caused the crash survived when so many _innocent_ lives had been lost – for she didn't count herself as innocent, not any more. She carried the reminder of her betrayals within her sore, aching body.

Toya's face returned, and he carefully lifted her head with one hand whilst tipping the cool glass of water against her lips with the other. The liquid felt good against her dry throat, and again she was grateful for the lift of her nil-by-mouth restriction two days prior.

'That better?' Kaho perched on the edge of the bed beside Sakura's hand, fingers warm where they rested above the cannula in her hand. Sakura nodded slightly, and when Toya moved the glass away settled back against the pillows.

'Dad'll be at the court tomorrow, but Kaho and I will be here with you, okay?' Her brother pulled the chair closer to her bed and sat on it, folding his hands beneath his chin. 'He'll make sure that Anasawa goes away for a long time. That bastard's not going to get away with doing this to my little sister.'

She just stared at him, green eyes lifeless, face emotionless. Though he'd never admit to it, seeing her like this day after day unnerved him – his little sister, the 'brat', normally so full of energy and life, now such an empty shell, with no words or emotions. It wasn't normal. Not for the first time, he cursed himself for not keeping a closer eye on her. For so many years he'd been protective, always checking up on her, making sure she was okay; when she'd turned twenty-one and he'd married Kaho, he'd eased up. Guilt ate at him now. _If only I'd taken care of her_.

But he hadn't. And here she lay, carrying a stranger's child and a miraculous survivor of a fatal car accident that could so easily have torn her out of his life.

The tears nearly came to him again, but he forced them back with sheer willpower. He would not show weakness in front of his baby sister. He was supposed to be strong, the impenetrable older brother who was the best protector she could ever wish for.

Kaho's fingers on his forehead made him look up, snapping out of his own depressing thoughts. She knew. At night, she would stroke his hair as he lay, cursing himself, and she would tell him it was okay, it wasn't his fault, life was never fair. She had a soothing effect on him, and as he sat there, he felt his internal anger seep away slowly.

Beneath them, Sakura turned her head away from Toya and closed her eyes. She liked to block out the world at the moment, to shut her eyes and ears and pretend nothing existed but her and the little life growing inside her.

'Goodnight, Sakura,' Kaho whispered to her, and releasing Toya, she bent to place a gentle kiss on her sister-in-law's forehead. 'We'll be back tomorrow.'

Toya stood, swallowed hard, and shook his black hair from his eyes to look down at the small body wrapped in hospital sheets. 'Get some sleep, sis. And don't give the nurses hell.'

Was it his imagination, or did that, a little throwback to their childhoods, make a small smile cross her face?

She woke late the following morning; noon sunlight had already fallen across her bed, warming her legs through the sheets. Lazily, she turned her head towards the window, seeking warmth on her face. She felt rested, perhaps for the first time in weeks; the feeling of protection she'd felt in her dreams still lingered, as if someone had watched over her. No nightmares had plagued her mind.

There was movement in the corner. She opened weary eyes, narrowed against the light. The first few seconds, she struggled to identify her companion, hiding in the shadows of the corner. She blinked, and then pushed herself up straighter. The figure stirred, and then leant forward. Her father's features came into the light, a small smile playing upon his lips.

'Hello, beautiful,' he whispered as he stood, moving to block the light offending her still sensitive eyes. He became nothing more than a silhouette in her vision. 'You slept right through the trial. Kaho and Toya were here the entire time. They've had to go check on Kenji, but they will be back later.'

The trial. Her heart faltered for a moment, and her eyes widened. Fujitaka knelt beside her bed, putting himself below her. For a moment, she remembered being a little girl, looking down at her father through teary eyes as he knelt to soothe her, to show her she was the most important little girl in the world. What on earth had happened at the trial?

'We did it, honey.' He reached out and captured one aching hand, careful not to squeeze it too hard. 'We got him. Once he saw the photos of your injuries, he confessed to everything on the stand. Sweetheart, he's been given _life_.'

Life. She frowned, trying to understand how a man – no, a _boy_ – could be given a life sentence. Was that right? He was nineteen – the life they had taken from him hadn't truly begun. Yet he deserved it, didn't he? He had killed those innocent people in that accident. Stolen the life of children not yet ten years old.

Her free hand drifted to her stomach, stroked it gently through the sheet. He had nearly stolen the life she carried within her, the life that reminded her of all the evil she had done, but also of all the things she had lost. What if that life had too been stolen from her?

She closed her eyes against her father's wavering smile. She could understand, of course, why her father was joyful over this result, but it seemed wrong, somehow. Ever happy, easygoing Kinomoto Fujitaka was _happy_ that a child would spend the rest of his life behind bars.

'He nearly took you from me.' The pain in his voice surprised her, and she opened her eyes again. His head was bowed now, hair falling forward to hide his eyes from her. 'I sat by your bedside every day you were unconscious, praying to all deities that I would see your beautiful eyes again, hear your voice. And I vowed, that if I lost you, if he took you away from me, I would see him pay. And he did, in a way. He took away your laughter. You haven't laughed. You haven't smiled. That gleam, the one that shines through your eyes every single second of every single day, is gone. He changed you, Sakura. And I cannot forgive him for that.'

Her heart broke, and her eyes filled with warm tears. Gently, she raised her hand from her stomach and found her father's cheek. She didn't speak. She didn't need to. Fujitaka's shoulders began to shake, and within seconds he was clutching at her hand, needing something _real_ to prove that she was really there.

How long they sat like that, she didn't know. It wasn't until there came a knock on the door that either of them moved.

A nurse bustled in with a bright, cheery smile. 'You have a special visitor,' she all but chirped as she made her way to the bedside to check the equipment attached to Sakura's hand. 'Quite handsome. You've done well, honey.'

The nurse – Usa, her nametag identified – wasn't looking at Sakura's face, so missed the intense confusion that crossed it. Fujitaka swallowed, then stood and shakily squeezed his daughter's hand.

'I'll leave you to it. See you tomorrow, honey.' He smiled, then bent and kissed his daughter's forehead. 'I love you.'

She nodded, and watched as her father moved out the door. She heard a short, quiet exchange before a vase filled with roses poked around the door.

The face that followed was heartbreakingly familiar.

_Syaoran._

The man who had broken her heart.

**::-::-::-::-::**

**So. Four years, huh? In that time, I've finished GCSEs, started and finished A Levels, and been a complete loser when it comes to updating my FFN works! I've been so focused on my original writing since July, I kind of forgot about all of this stuff. It's still been on my to-do list on my system, but I just kind of kept skipping it ...**

**But, I'm dedicating the rest of tonight, what little of tomorrow I have to myself, and Wednesday morning/afternoon before work to getting a few chapters of this written. I know where I want it to go (to be honest, it's not that different from the original - just a lot better written!) and I know how I want to get there, so I'm going to get myself there by the end of the week.**

**If you don't see Chapter Two by the 23rd, please hunt me down - I've got lost in fantasy world again. **

**See you guys soon ;)**

**Tears x**


	3. Chapter Two

**Title: Beating Heart  
Rating: M (later chapters, may change as they are rewritten)  
Summary: She really wished things had worked out now. She really wished that her heart would beat once more. But it was too late ...  
Full Summary: Having finally found closure on their illicit relationship, Sakura's heart is broken. At least, it's broken until things begin to turn on their head. Suddenly their relationship is not so forbidden, but it's too late ...**

**::-::-::-::-::**

He hadn't changed. Not that she'd expected him to. It had only been two weeks since she had seen him – but wasn't he supposed to have gone on his honeymoon to some exotic island where he would bask in the sun with his new wife? What was he doing in her hospital room?

He cleared his throat as he shuffled in, clearly nervous. He'd abandoned his favourite outfit of a suit for a more relaxed jeans and button-up combination. It suited him, made him look more handsome than those ridiculous suits did. Was that something his new wife had insisted on?

Usa stepped back from the drips and gave them both a wide smile. 'No getting up to mischief, you hear me? You two be good.' She winked at Syaoran. 'Leave the door open.'

He gave her a grin back. 'No need to worry about that. We'll be on our best behaviour.'

She bustled out of the room, and Sakura relaxed back into her pillows, watching her former lover warily. They'd known one another for close to thirteen years. They'd been sleeping together for eight of those. Yet it was only now, in the cold light of lost passion, that she realised how stupid they'd both been for so long. She could see it in his face, that he too realised the mistakes they had continuously made, continuing their stupid arrangement.

_'__Can we promise that we won't fall in love with one another? And that we won't get mad when the other goes out with someone else?'__ Those words that had plagued her for so many years … how stupid she had been to agree._

'I meant to visit earlier,' he said, stepping closer to place the vase awkwardly on her bedside table. 'As soon as I found out, I meant to come. But things kind of got in the way, and then they wouldn't let me in to see you …'

She regarded him silently, laying her broken hand over her stomach in a deliberate gesture. He didn't notice. 'Nobody told me, you know. Not your father, definitely not your brother. Kaho, Tomoyo, Eriol … nobody said a thing about an accident. I heard about it on the news, saw the cars …' He broke off, and raised both hands to rub his face. He looked tired. Like he hadn't sleep in days. 'I didn't think anyone could have survived that. And then I saw your car in the wreckage. I thought you were dead, Sakura.'

She turned her head away, looking back out of the window. Dry lips cracked open. 'Too bad for you,' she whispered.

He froze. Pain flashed through those deep, lovely brown eyes that she had so adored. 'You don't know how much I worried when I realised you had been in the crash. How much it hurt to think that you might have died without knowing the truth.'

He stretched out one hand, and a warm palm caught her chin and turned her face towards him. 'You left before anything happened. After seeing how you reacted at the wedding … after realising how I felt … Sakura, I didn't get married. I couldn't. Not when it wasn't you waiting for me at the end of the aisle.'

Her eyes widened. 'It took losing you to realise how much I couldn't stand Miho. It took thinking you were dead to realise how much I truly loved you.' He sighed, and his eyes fell shut. 'To think that I'd never see you again … I couldn't do anything. I tried to lose myself in work, but that didn't work. I couldn't focus. Not knowing that I'd never told you.'

His fingers softened, moved to stroke her cheek. She closed her eyes, and unconsciously relaxed into his hand. 'And then I heard the news. Two survivors of the crash. The one who'd caused it, and a woman. Hope blossomed in my heart, Sakura. I was desperately hoping you'd pulled through. That you knew how much we all need you, and you'd refused to leave us.' His thumb stroked across her lips. 'That you'd refuse to leave me.'

Her eyes flashed open, suddenly full of hatred. 'Selfish!' she gasped out, choking on the word. 'You hurt me. You asked me to lock away my feelings and then kept exploiting them! Why should I refuse to die, just to come back to a man who can't even respect that I might have feelings for him one day? You knew how I felt! I made it damn obvious! And yet you still came back to me, each and every time something didn't work out with your other women!' He reeled back, wounded by her vicious words. 'If I'd only had you to come back to, I'm not sure I would have bothered fighting. Yet I had no choice. I have a life I can't lose. A life that deserves a chance. I refused to leave my child, not you!'

The gentle patterns he'd been tracing on her cheek stopped, and his eyes met hers incredulously. She realised her mistake immediately, and her mouth flapped, her mind unable to think of words to make it better, to take back what she had never meant to tell him.

'You're pregnant?' His voice was little more than a whisper. His hand withdrew, hesitated for a second, and then slipped back into his pocket. A dry laugh escaped his lips. 'Guess we weren't careful enough at the hotel.'

She raised one eyebrow. 'You think so?'

He sighed, ran one hand through his dark hair, messing it up into those gentle curls she had so loved to run her own hands through, scraping at his scalp with her nails, tugging and begging and panting …

She pushed the thought away. She didn't need the memories. Not anymore. She'd lost him, lost him the second he chose to marry another woman. If she thought about it, had she ever really had him? Maybe for that first kiss, or that very first time they'd slept together … but that was that, in the past, done.

Finished.

He shuffled awkwardly, looking anywhere but at her. 'Guess we both fucked up there, huh?' He turned, and she was presented with his strong back and broad shoulders, shoulders she had scratched in ecstasy more than once. Her cheeks flushed, and she hurriedly looked down at the cast still slung across her stomach protectively. 'You got a better place to live once you got out of here? That apartment of yours is cheap and tacky, and too high up for you to get to while injured and pregnant.' He seemed to mull that over. 'Actually, forget that. You have a place. You'll come live with me. After all, it's my fault you were even in the car, and it's my child you're carrying.'

She snorted derisively. 'There's no way in hell I'm moving in with you. Toya and Kaho are letting me live with them until the baby comes and then I'm finding my own place, more suited for a single parent family.'

'But you're not a single parent.'

She said nothing, simply watched him. His shoulders bunched up, and after a few moments he turned to look back at her, his eyes pools of pain. Her silence hurt him more than anything she could have said, and she knew it; why shouldn't he hurt? He'd hurt her enough times in the past. He deserved to know how it felt.

'At least let me give you some money, or something.'

'No.'

He growled warningly. 'Sakura, this is not up for debate. You either live with me or take my money. Don't even think about messing with me.'

She glared. 'I'm not a charity case! Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can't bring in my own income!' She pursed her lips, as if thinking the truth of her statement. What did she have to earn income with? She wouldn't be able to go to work, and she couldn't exactly do door-to-door selling, the only option currently open in her workplace. 'I don't need to depend on you for anything. I should never have depended on you.'

The door opened at that moment, and Usa peeked in. 'I thought I heard raised voices … now, now, Sakura, you should know you shouldn't be getting stressed out in your condition!' She bustled over, and gently eased the pillows into a more comfortable position. 'Sir, please, either relax or leave. She can't get stressed. It's not good for her or for the baby.'

Syaoran closed his eyes, drew in a long breath, held it for ten seconds and then released it. He smiled at Usa. 'Sorry. I was just leaving.' He turned his attention back towards Sakura. 'Please, think about it? I'll be back soon to speak to you again.' He offered a gentle smile, and then turned and left the room.

And just like she had so many times before, she began to cry as he disappeared.


End file.
